Oh dear. I feel like I really have to drag myself through these episodes and writing this blog. I know what's coming up in Series 6, and I so don't want to go there again. But, in the meantime, here is my review of A Christmas Carol.
The episode starts out with a space ship crashing because of some crazy cloud covering the planet below. Amy and Rory are on board; they are apparently on their honeymoon, and they have sent a distress signal to the Doctor. Just as they are about to give up hope, a message flashes on the screen: "Come along, Pond ..."
The Doctor lands on the planet and pops down the chimney of Kazran Sardick, who owns a machine that controls the clouds. As the Doctor arrives, Kazran is acting scroogey towards a family who want their family member unfrozen for Christmas. The Doctor asks Kazran to help save the ship, but he refuses. The Doctor leaves, but as he's outside, the fog lowers and little fish start swimming around the lamppost. A Christmas carol is playing in the background, and the Doctor gets a great idea to play the Ghost of Christmas Past. Because, obviously, the only way to make Kazran care is to go back in the past and change him. Back in Kazran's lair, a video of Young Kazran starts playing, and who should show up but ... The Doctor!
As the Doctor starts interacting with Young Kazran, Old Kazran's memories start to change and he remembers his past with the Doctor. It turns out that Young Kazran wants to see the fish, but his father won't let him, so the Doctor uses his sonic screwdriver as bait for the fish. And, sure enough, he attracts a little fish. Unfortunately, the little fish attracts a huge shark, which promptly eats the sonic screwdriver and attempts to eat the Doctor and Young Kazran. The Doctor manages to recover part of his screwdriver, but the shark somehow gets hurt and is dying, and the only way to save him is to get him back into the fog cloud. Young Kazran has a great idea to save the shark. He takes the Doctor to cold storage, where thousands of people have been frozen by Kazran's father as a kind of collateral.
Young Kazran wants to vacate the freezer of Abigail, a lovely blonde whom he has a crush on. Abigail wakes up, the shark attacks, she sings to the shark and calms it down, they put it in the freezer, and release it back into the cloud. Before restoring Abigail to her freezer, Young Kazran tells her that the Doctor visits every Christmas Eve.
The next scene is the following Christmas Eve, and the Doctor literally harnesses the shark and takes Kazran and Abigail for a ride in the clouds.
We see subsequent Christmas Eves, and they apparently go on all kinds of adventures.
Suddenly, one Christmas Eve, Kazran is all grown up, and Abigail takes notice of him. They fall in love, but then Abigail tells Kazran that she only has one more day to live, and he gets upset with the Doctor and tells him not to come back. Kazran becomes a scroogey old man after all. He refuses to help the plummeting space ship.
So, the Ghost of Christmas Present shows up in the form of Amy. She tries to convince him to save the ship by showing him the passengers singing Christmas carols. It doesn't work.
The Doctor shows up again. At this point, Kazran tells the Doctor that Abigail only has one more day to live, and how is he supposed to choose which day that is? The Doctor says that he's the Ghost of Christmas Future, and Young Kazran appears. He's just witnessed Kazran's bitterness, and the Doctor says, "do you want to end up like that?"
Kazran then changes his mind and decides to save the ship after all. However, he has changed so much that the isomorphic controls no longer work. The Doctor tells Kazran that he has to let Abigail out so she can sing, and she does. Her singing stabilizes the cloud and the ship is able to land safely. The Doctor leaves Kazran and Abigail, and they harness the shark again and go for another ride. Because once wasn't enough.
Repeat Ideas:
1) This isn't a repeat idea in the sense that Moffat has recycled some of his previous ideas, just something that really bothers me. The phrase "Come along, Pond" is right up there with, "Hello, Sweetie". It's getting very tired. I mean, it was funny the first time, but this isn't the 80's, the Doctor isn't Steve Urkel and Amy and River aren't Stephanie and Michelle Tanner. Do we really need these catch phrases?
Dislikes:
1) Amy talks to the Doctor via some kind of walkie talkie. What the heck? How come all of a sudden everyone can communicate with him easily? Is this something that happened in the classic series? I don't know, I'm only up to the first few stories of the Second Doctor, but I find it very annoying that the Doctor is suddenly at everyone's beck and call (and Marilyn Monroe calling him at the end? Seriously. How is everyone contacting him?)
2) Driving the shark? Are you KIDDING me? This is literally the most ridiculous thing in the entire series so far, and that's saying a lot.
3) How does the Doctor not notice the countdown? How thick is he? I'm getting really tired with this Doctor being stupid.
4) Let's say that Abigail is 20. Let's also assume that the first time we see Young Kazran he's 12. Abigail gets eight days out of the freezer before she dies, right? So the first time we see Slightly Older Kazran, he's got to be about 17. But then they have several more Christmas Eves together! I had a really hard time trying to figure out how old he was!
5) The portrait in Kazran's lair changes from his father, to Abigail, to his father again. I thought this was really unnecessary. Since the past has already happened, even though Kazran doesn't necessarily remember it yet, there is no reason that Abigail's portrait would be up there. Even if Kazran at that time believes that he'll be with Abigail, the fact is that the end result is that Abigail gets returned to her freezer for good. So, the portrait of his father should have ALWAYS been of his father, and NEVER changed to Abigail. There is no reason that Moffat should have ever shown us that portrait again.
6) At one point, Kazran pulls out photos of Slightly Older Kazran, Abigail, and the Doctor on their adventures on Christmas Eve. There are dozens of photos. How many places did they go each time? It makes no sense.
7) Are Kazran and Abigail considered companions now? They spent a lot of time with the Doctor. As a matter of fact, as we'll see in Series 6, this Doctor sure doesn't have a problem bringing anyone and everyone into the TARDIS.
8) How is Hologram Amy able to interact with Kazran? She can't actually see him. Conversely, when he's a hologram, how can he see them? I get touchy about technical details like that ...
9) And here's my biggest issue with all of this - Moffat is really screwing with time. Not only is the Doctor crossing time lines, introducing Young Kazran to Kazran, he is completely changing this man. Not only is he changing Kazran, he is theoretically changing the other people who come into Kazran's life, too. How do we know it's all for the good? I mean, he's doing this for a very selfish reason - to save these 4,000 people. For instance, yes, Kazran's feelings for Abigail make a difference, but then losing that love could have potentially made him even more bitter. How do we know that these actions won't create a worse future in some other way? I guess my time travel rules have been defined by Doc Brown. But I'm really concerned about how free and easy this Doctor is with time. Also, because Young Kazran meets present-day Kazran, won't that change all of his memories when he's with the Doctor later on?
10) Okay, the concept of harnessing the shark is so ridiculous that it warrants a second mention. HARNESSING THE SHARK IS RIDICULOUS! Also, I think this officially means that Doctor Who has jumped the shark.
11) Edited to add: I totally forgot about this - when the Doctor appears in the video with Young Kazran, Kazran is watching. Well, throughout this entire first encounter with Young Kazran, present-day Kazran watches. WHERE is the camera? I get that when they're in the bedroom, they're on camera, and they also brought the computer into the closet with them. But Kazran's watching while they go down to cold storage and everything. HOW is he watching this?
Likes:
1) As always, when the dumbass ginger is out of the picture, the Doctor is much more tolerable. He is downright funny throughout this entire episode. The whole gag about isomorphic controls was hilarious (although I don't like the constant theme that the Doctor is ignorant). I also loved that he was accidentally engaged to Marilyn Monroe and then apparently went off and married her. I thought that the Doctor giving Slightly Older Kazran advice on kissing was brilliant.
2) Michael Gambon is really good at playing angry old men, isn't he? Angry Dumbledore, Angry Kazran ...
3) Young Kazran was fantastic. I may not like some of the adult actors in this show, but they've done a brilliant job of casting the young actors.
I guess that's all of my likes. But, the fact that I liked Matt Smith in this episode is huge, so really it should count as at least three likes ...
And now for a palette-cleanser - I toyed with something from A Christmas Carol and Fonzie jumping the shark, but I'm going to go for something else. Happy Christmas from the First Doctor!
And because I couldn't resist ...
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